Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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