He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
