Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Its about making memories worth repressing
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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