She is in my trunk
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Bring me that man meat
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
