If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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