Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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