he thought i was a dude.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
