I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
