Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
