Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you would pick up someone in the library
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
