you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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