Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
