She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i think im in europe. pls send help
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
