glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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