I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
