You really coming over, don't trick.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
