Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
