So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
