Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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