Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i think i have two assholes
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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