considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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