i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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