My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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