All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
