Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
