So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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