I swear she didn't look like that last week.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
