To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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