There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize