He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
