I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
