My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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