I cockslap morals
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize