What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
