My nipple is on Facebook.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
