i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
