I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Randomize
