Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
