Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
