4 words: hood of his car
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize