my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love having hate sex.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
