dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize