Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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