Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
