why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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