loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
