no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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