I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
