the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
