Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
