dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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