ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
where am i from again
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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