Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
