i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
