69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
